


XXXcessory

by authenticaussie



Category: One Piece
Genre: Adult Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, IT'S ALSO NOT EVEN NSFW oops, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, it's not TECHNICALLY a sugar daddy au. but it. has the vibes., spoilers: Ace gets mistaken for an escort and Marco tries to hire him as a fake boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24175366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authenticaussie/pseuds/authenticaussie
Summary: “But I’m not-”Sabo rolls his eyes and grins sharply at Ace. “I know, moron. You’re not a prostitute. Not unless you said yes, at least.”And Sabo laughs, becausemoronis meant to be a tease, a joke, a tiny prod that makes Ace rolls his eyes and shoot back something about Sabo being an idiot.Ace blushes instead.
Relationships: Fushichou Marco | Phoenix Marco/Portgas D. Ace, Portgas D. Ace & Sabo
Comments: 27
Kudos: 187





	XXXcessory

**Author's Note:**

> ME??? NOT WRITE MAS????
> 
> It's not very likely bUT HEY LOOK!!!!!! It does exist!!! fff
> 
> also: Lucky is ONE HUNDRED percent responsible for the title (even if I was the one who found the word). I am unable to turn down dares.

“So here’s the thing,” Ace says as he comes barging through the door to their apartment and slings his bag onto the kitchen table. Sabo looks up from his laptop and notes the tone, typing a ‘brb’ to Koala on their IM. “I know, you’know, you’ve said it before, I shouldn’t go out without shirts on, but it’s like, what’s the big deal? It’s super hot in the city, all the time, and I don’t deserve that, Sabo, I don’t–”

 _A frequent rant,_ Sabo thinks, nodding along dutifully and figuring that he can keep half an ear open for the particularly funny lines that Ace provides to tell Koala.

“–but that’s no reason to presume I’m a prostitute!”

Sabo pauses, then arches his eyebrow. “It is, a little,” he points out, and Ace does that thing where he changes ball-to-heel on his foot so he can pace their tiny lounge room. 

“I was with a bunch of other people! We were leaving a bar!”

“You’re not winning your case, Ace.” 

“It was a lot of money just because I wasn’t wearing a shirt. And he just–he just came up! And said that! Who does that?”

“People who can’t get actual dates and go around hiring prostitutes?”

“But I’m not-”

Sabo rolls his eyes and grins sharply at Ace. “I know, moron. You’re not a prostitute. Not unless you said yes, at least.”

And Sabo laughs, because _moron_ is meant to be a tease, a joke, a tiny prod that makes Ace rolls his eyes and shoot back something about Sabo being an idiot. 

Ace blushes, instead, and Sabo leans back into the couch cushions, putting his hands into prayer in front of his mouth. 

“Ace,” he says, and Ace doesn’t look at him, all _if I don’t meet his eyes he can’t blame me for the problem_. “Ace, you did say no, right?”

“It was a lot of money, Sabo!”

“Did you say no?”

“I–” Ace bites his lip. “I mean. Not…really?”

“Ace!” he surges off the couch, laptop tumbling to somewhere amongst the cushions. “Some weirdo thought you were a prostitute - offered you money because they thought you were a prostitute - and you didn’t go, ‘actually, hey nah mate, you’ve got the wrong type of person’? Are you kidding me? You said yes to having sex with somebody who thought you were a prostitute?”

“No!” Ace says, and Sabo throws his hands into the air. 

“You just said you-”

“He wanted me to date him!”

“ _WHAT_!?” shrieks Sabo, loud enough that he’s sure their neighbours will have heard it, and more than loud enough to leave the sound ringing in his head. He presses his hand to his forehead, holding up his other one to forestall Ace’s justifications, and takes a deep breath. “He _what_?”

“Okay, so, we just got out of the-”

“No, skip that,” Sabo orders, and Ace groans in the back of his throat. 

“But it’s- fine. This guy came up in a fancy car and he said ‘hey which of you is the best at keeping secrets’ and everybody pointed at me and he said ‘can the rest of you step away for like two seconds’ and Sanji was gonna throw up and we have our safe taps, you know the ones, so everyone was like ‘okay’, and then he looked really nervous, and Sabo, he was actually kinda cute, you know, like, not a lot? 

“But- okay, anyway, so he cleared his throat and he was like ‘if I give you money will you go on a date with me?’ and I was like ‘no way!’ and he looked really bad for a minute and then he was like, ‘no, no, wait, I meant, I know prostitutes don’t date,’ and while I was getting over _that_ one he was like, ‘but what if I pay you to be my escort for a bit? No sex or anything, I don’t want that, I just need somebody to pretend to be my boyfriend for a couple of dates. And I know this offer is really weird but-’ and then he handed me a business card, this- fuck, it must still be in my bag somewhere, I guess, anyway then he was all, ‘please come meet me at 12pm tomorrow at the Whitebeard megacorp building, and ask for Marco Newgate.’ And then Sanji came back and told him to fuck off, you know how Sanji gets when he’s drunk, and he left.” 

The apartment stays silent as Sabo processes Ace’s verbal upchuck of information. Of their own accord, his hands start a useless gesture, then abort it just as quickly when Ace winces, a sheepish smile growing on his face. Sabo closes his eyes. 

“Ace?” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep, long breath.

“…yeah?”

“You’re an idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> .........I feel hesitant to add my usual "please review!!" in all caps because Really does this exist at all? The first and Only mature fic on my account? wild. 
> 
> whispers _but still_ I love validation please tell me your Thoughts. Maybe I'll continue. idk.


End file.
